do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
