You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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