I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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