Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
