I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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