i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
