He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
