You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
