just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
