What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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