It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
