Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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