you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
