im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
