its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
3pm strippers are depressing
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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