Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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