fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
