Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
