i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
