how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
