I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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