I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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