That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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