that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
