So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
