So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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