Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
