Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
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She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
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Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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