we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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