just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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