Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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