I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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