We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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