Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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