Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
