Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think my nap took me to another dimension
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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