he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
