how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize