omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
