Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
How external is "for external use only"?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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