Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
