Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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