it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
