Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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