Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I have demons in me.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
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Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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