I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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