If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
