I hate your face
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
