I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
