when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
