We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
