he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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