i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
