how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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