there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
