I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
