I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
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She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
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I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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