based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
