She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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