In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize